A Case For Fried Eggs

I woke up this morning to a call from a client (thinking about it, its a potential client that keeps asking me for fares to the whole world, but never buying).

So, my client comes to me with how responsible I sound (this gets my spider senses tingling). This sensation signifies an anomaly or an indication of a danger of some sort.

So "Client X" proceeds to ask me what church I attend, and I respond.
He yells "I said it."

I smile, its the typical fraud line.
So he asks me which satellite church I attend and I give him a vague answer - Surulere.
He goes "WOW! You are my brother."

He now tells of a Pastor Blah Blah who is his "Father in The Lord" (we don't use such phrases- nothing wrong, but its not our phrase).
So, Client X asks me if I know his Pastor? And I smile and say "Uhuh"!
The delicious onion in my bread plus egg combo just struck a note with palate and I had to wash it down with some tea.

So I ask him "whats up" and he tells me of how he needs to transfer N600,000 to Bayo (a car dealer in Seme boarder). Very typical of a fraudster to talk to you as though you have been in on the transaction from inception.

Client X then tells me he wants to really help me and for some unknown reason the tea goes the wrong way. I choke on my cocoa (is there a song along those lines?).

At this point, I ask him what he actually needs and he says he wants me to go check Bayo guy at the boarder cos its a lot of money involved, then I say "okay, lets do it like this" (giving him the benefit of doubt). "I  have someone who deals in boarder cars sales and I will gladly connect him with my contact."

Client X says  "no! no! no!" It has to be you, cos I trust your voice".
Just then, Bayo's picture flashes in my head with him holding a cutlass and with me all tied up and ready for sacrifice... T.I.A. - This Is Africa!

The phone went dead.
Looking at my device, I saw my hand on the kill button.

I stared at my empty plate of bread and fried eggs.
I take up my cup of warm cocoa and mutter "THUNDER FIRE ..."
I don't conclude as I see my Pastor stare at me from my subconscious (sorry sir).

I wash down my very dry throat with the rest of my tea, then take up my pen and notepad to put down my 'to do's' for the day.

LESSON FOR THE DAY:
Stick to what you know. That's how to avoid Bayo's cutlass.

Enjoy your day.

Till we meet again, keep winning.

Mr David Chiaka
Twitter: @MrChiaka

Call Me Bond

 · 

I had a very busy week.
The biggest event in the whole of West Africa is holding in Ghana today - Night of Bliss with Pastor Chris Oyakhilome.

As it should be expected, I had been doing everything possible to get a market share of travelers. Besides, na "we-we", so it was more like sorting out the family.

So there I was booking flights and getting my team to check-in all travelers. Our standard email had all details imaginable. From latest time for airport check-in, to the mandatory travel documents eg Yellow fever inoculation card, to Airport terminal to board (shockingly it dawned on me that the bulk of travelers planned to board from local airport for an international flight. And Yes! Ghana is considered international?).

So, there we were late yesterday evening, thinking all T's were crossed and i's were dotted when I got several calls by 6:30am today from Pastor T.

This could not be. "My spider senses were tingling". Gate closes by 6am and flight time was 7am (Medview).

We spoke.
I had to take a seat to swallow what I had heard.

Pastor T (6:30am): Hello Br Dave I left my passport at home. Please... (My mind went blank)

Help me go get it, my driver is at Oshodi. Help give it to him.
Me: Okay Sir! Am on my way.

I put on fresh clothes, got my own international passport. I foresaw I may do some running into the International airport and I did not need any security personnel stopping me due no travel document.

I raced to his place in 10mins, got his passport from his very anxious wife.
"I packed everything, how did this happen?" She said.
I smiled, "don't worry Ma, I will fix this. It's what I do"

I got the GSM number of the driver and in 5mins we were heading to the airport from Surulere. Time was 6:45am.

Ring! Ring!
Pastor T (6:45am): Bro Dave where are you?
Me: Pastor I am with the driver and we are leaving Surulere right now.
Pastor T: Okay, they say I have till 7:20am to board.
Me: Okay Sir, you will get it shortly.
Pastor T: God bless you Br Dave.
Me: Amen Pastor

We drove.
F-A-S-T
Our main exit linking to Ojuelegba Road was blocked - ROAD REPAIR.
Lawanson was our worst nightmare at this rush hour but at this time it was our only route to connect to the Express. I prayed in tongues as I screamed at the driver G-O...!!!

It was free, at Ijesha... Ring! Ring!

Pastor T (6:50am): Br Dave they said I have till 7:00am
(The car spun round).
I shook my head to clear the shock effect.
Me: Okay Pastor, relax! God is in control we will get there as fast as possible.

A voice from inside me screamed "ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU WANT TO BLOW THE EXPRESS TO THE AIRPORT IN 10MINUTES?

Pastor T: Okay, so where are you right now? Are you at the warehouse?
Me: Yes Pastor
Pastor T: Okay thank you.

As I dropped the phone, Babalola (the driver) caught my eye. He heard, switching gears, He swerved from the service lane into the Express and tore through the cluster of buses at Ilasa and blew through Aswani to connect the bridge linking into Airport road.

I prayed as I saw a cluster of cars by 7/8 bus stop.
We passed through amidst horns blazing and swerves.
I checked my watch - 6:55am
My heart beating... I closed my eyes and prayed the only way I knew how (in tongues).

"Do you think he will make it?" Babalola asked?
I replied with my eyes still closed "I believe in miracles, do you"?

Ring! Ring!
Pastor T (6:57am): Brother Dave where are you now?
Me: NAHCO, Sir
Pastor T: Okay, am coming outside

I squinted as we fast approached the NAHCO intersection.
I wondered if Babalola had plans to slow down for the cars moving through the intersection but alas, he was squinting calculatively too.
This was "Fast and Furious" epic finale and I bet he thought he was Vin Diessel.
We blew past as I clutched my car seat as he swerved and avoided a miss.

Phew!!!

The usual traffic through the ascent upward the Departure wing of the Murtala Muhammed International Airport was dry! Very odd!!!
Lo! I spotted Pastor T as I unhooked my seat belt, unlocked the car door, opened the car door, as the car was grinding to a halt!!! I had seen this in a movie somewhere.

As I stepped out, Pastor T smiled and said "Hmmm, James Bond"!
He took the passport from me as we both ran through Security (with me showing my international passport).

He passed through the checks cos he had already collected the boarding pass.

As I waited for final confirmation, I asked myself, what if I had not pre-checked him in? This would have been a disaster.

I called him in 10mins time and he said, "wow! I made it... You did this.
Thank you, God bless you"

As I strolled out of the Airport, as I heard Pastor T's voice again "James Bond"...

I smiled as I walked towards the car park. 15 minutes from Surulere to The airport... Hmmmm

These are real time events.

Signed

David Chiaka

05 February, 2016

Damage Control

So my first meal of cold cocoa and 4 slices of bread came by 7:30pm. 

Wifey had been on my case all day to eat something but I had a Holy Rev Father stuck in Dubai since 4am on Thursday 10 Nov and getting him out was all I cared about.

Before leaving for her office by 9:30am, she said I had done excellently well this year, this one issue cannot undo my achievements. I looked at her and all I could see from the deep dark corner of my subconscious was Donald Trump saying "I win always, I don't know how to fail. Am in this game to win".

Why did that resonate with me?

I had called my Dubai Agent, who called her PRO, who ran to the Dubai Immigration office. Time was 6am Nigerian time and by my calculations it was 9am in Dubai.

This had never happened to me since I started my entrepreneurial life. I had learnt everything learnable in my 8yrs in GTBanks Travel Desk.

That was it- GTBank "DAMAGE CONTROL".

Tunde Fawehinmi had thought me well. I had to manage my client so well so as to diffuse whatever anger was welling up in him. Make his present discomfort, somewhat bearable. 

" A Holy Reverend Father, denied entry in Dubai?" TUFIAKWA...!!!

Feedback came in by 7am. There were security issues and the Dubai Immigration were not clearing Nigerian males to enter into Dubai.

I asked myself one question! Could I have known this? If there was an issue, why was my Holy Father cleared from Lagos by airport visa screeners and the Emirates personnel?

10am Nigerian time and my Holy Father was not reachable! CHINEKE MEeeeeee! I did the maths, "no airtime, no roaming" so quickly, I recharged him with Internet Banking (damage control protocol had been deployed). It worked, he was happier. A little upset, but happier and grateful. I explained all to him and for some reason I can't understand, he smiled and said, Mr David, I understand this is not in your control, relax, let's watch how this plays out?

On and on we went till it was 4pm. Then, I blew up! My Agent got the brunt of it. Had the Visa Agency MD called my client? Had the PRO called him? Alas, I now found out that all Dubai Travel Agencies had to have a Sponsor in the Immigration.

There it was. The trigger was pulled & B-O-O-M!!!

If the Immigration sponsor could not resolve it or have the decency to call my client, then I had no business with them because (1) they lacked influence and (2) they had zero empathy and as such had no need being in the business world.

I made this clear my Agent and all she could say was "ha! These Emeraties are pompous, they won't call".

The line cut. I suspected the network felt a nuclear bomb go off from my side of the line cos all I remember was bright lights, a numbing sound, a sore throat and my staff taking cover. 10 deep breaths and my nerves were calmer.

I did not understand how pride could to take the better of a business. If the sponsor was stuck in Nigeria airport, am sure the airport officials would be recounting their ordeal. The nature of my business requires that certain airport officials are in good terms with me. So that, in times of trouble, I can leverage on their influence to get good results.

Time is 6pm (9pm in Dubai), tomorrow is Friday. They don't work on Fridays.

Faith had dealt me a cruel blow.

I could not fix this.

I had no control over this situation.

By 9pm Nigerian time, I look at the wall clock and said to myself, it 12 mid night in Dubai and my Rev Father is lying down on a metal chair. I fought the tears, but one stung me as it flowed down my cheek. 

I sent him a text asking him how he is doing and my stranded Rev Father calls me and says, "Mr David I appreciate all you have done". 

Time is 1:55am on a Friday morning and I still cannot sleep because a Holy Rev Father has been denied entry into Dubai for security reasons and he has refused to get angry.

I play back the scenarios of the day and I ask myself "how well did I do at damage control"?

Hmmmmmmm!

My Response to Dele's Matyrisation of Nnamdi Kanu

I agree with most of what Dele Momodu has said in his piece on the matyrisation of Nnamdi Kanu (quite ironic of me though). I do not support this agitation because the Igbo tribe is not being marginalized. Nigeria has a common problem and it is corruption. Our elected officials have looted our resources and it applies in each state in each region (North, East and West).

From Governors, to Senators (all elected officials). Nothing is done to develop their lands (states). They loot with no remorse and when caught, they fall sick, travel abroad and send us gloomy pictures of ill health.

I heard enough about the war of 1967, I do not want a war for 2 reasons, firstly, both sides will loose fathers, mothers and children and secondly, which is most important- I believe there is no justifiable reason to take up arms.

The Igbo's need to direct this anger to their Governors, Senators, Commissioners and state Legislators. They have plundered their resources so why are they agitating?
Besides an Easterner just ruled Nigeria in the person of Goodluck Jonathan so you just had a term. Whether he is Igbo or not is irrelevant. the same way it doesn't matter to the Igbo whether a Katsinan or Maiduguri person is president. We all in Nigeria see in primary colors of North, West and East (until governance drops on our laps, then tribal issues surface).

As for the arrest of Nnamdi Kanu, the Federal Government of Nigeria are in order to have arrested him. Let us not be biased  in our assessment of the situation on ground. Inciting violent separatist movement is an act of treason anywhere in the world. Asking for guns at the World Igbo Congress is on another level.

How would the world perceive the non-arrest of Nnamdi Kanu? They cannot be perceived to be weak and let him walk around Nigeria upon arrival. I would have expected that the Government would have issued an extradition notice to the UK Government but alas, I understand we the Nigerian people are not there yet. A northern President forcefully repatriating an Easterner? (I shudder at the thought).

I ask one question, how would the British or US government have handled violent separatist radio broadcasts? Would they have waited till the broadcaster was home sick and returned of his own volition or would they have tracked the radio signals, block it then pull out his dossier and air his dirty laundry (financial and personal) to discredit him? Dear Dele, it is possible to track and block these signals, if you do not know, please visit CC Hub in Yaba, Lagos. It will amaze you what the much discredited Nigerian Youths are doing with the internet.

When you align yourself with gerontocrats, you get old and redundant ways of doing things.

To ask for a referendum will not cut it. Its a chance even I would not dare request. Not at this point where Biafra sympathizers have increased enormously. I recall the plight of the children of Israel who asked for a King and Samuel cried saying they do not know what they are asking for. I ask most agitators, "who will lead you"? Is it Ikedi Ohakim who looted billions of Imo funds, is it Orji Uzor Kalu who plundered Abia state with vengeance or Peter Obi who was supposed to carry the Igbo peoples mandate under APGA but preferred the pot of PDP gold?

Who is credible enough to lead? Wait, don't tell me it is Nnamdi Kanu? Lets not go there.

I believe the Biafra movement should be towards economic development of Igbo land and it starts with DEMANDING accountability from its elected officials.

What did they do with the security vote allocations because I do not see lights and CCTV cameras.
What did they do with the allocations for road because the roads I visit every year is in deplorable condition.
How have they harnessed the tourism potential of their states or Agriculture or I.T. or health care. Which will I ask and which wil I leave? We need figures (naira and kobo).

As for Nnamdi Kanu's arrest, lest I be libeled a Judas by my kinsmen, for political reasons, the Government may need to convene a meeting with him and key Igbo leaders and ask what the grievance is? To release him back to the system will be a dire mistake. Listen to him along side MOSSOB, Ohaneze Ndi Igbo and other Igbo groups, once the left and right wing opinions align, chances are the Government will have a balanced view of the Igbo grieviances, after which resolutions can be made and this volatile Biafra situation averted.

This is my honest opinion on how to handle this crisis. Talk now because if war starts, we will still talk to quell things down. I do not want any widows or Kwashiokor pictures of children making the headlines on CNN or BBC.

I want peace talks now.

My Mountain Climbing Excursion To Ado Awaye Mountain

We had an awesome time over the weekend (28 - 29 November). We went on a mountain hiking expedition.

We left Lagos by 6:30am and escaped the environmental Sanitation enforcers by whiskers.

Arriving Ibadan by 10:30am, we had breakfast, picked up other tourists making a total of 20 of us.

The kids had a different agenda so we drop them off at the "A3 Hotel" opposite the leisure mall, then off we went on a 2 hour journey to Ado Awaye Mountain.

Upon arrival and settling with the entrance marshal, our tour guide led the way.

With over 350 muscle wrenching steps separating us from half way to the top, we had to stop mid way. Legs were trembling and continuation was only true motivation and out stretched arms.

This was not just a tour expedition, it was a pilgrimage. A journey into self discovery.

After the steps led us into the heavenly elements of the angry sun, some knew better than to offend the gods. To them, they had conquered a level for themselves but for the over achievers, they dared the elements of the sun and winds. Staring them in the face, they marched up brazenly.

The tough were rewarded with the sight of the enchanted "suspended lake of Ado Awaye".

Legend has it that the lake sustained its inhabitants during several wars.
To the 2 oyibo (foreign) Geologist who sought a scientific explanation to the source and sustenance of the lake, well they are yet to surface and give us their findings.

And to the smart diver that had his ankle chained so he could be pulled out in the event of an emergency, well the remains of his cut chains can be given to anyone who needs to ask the inhabitants of the lake why its visitors are not allowed to return.

Our tour took us to the tree that chose to be an elephant and we were even told of the castle high up in the mountain.

Time was 2:30pm and wisdom had the better of us. It was a long way down and we had 2 more hours to our hotel lodging.

Maybe next time, we will arrive earlier with champions to take on the castle. But for now, we must sheave our swords and return to the land of the living.

A3 hotel was spectacular. We recommend it. But, if you want to party with your crew, come with your own drinks because Ibadan people don't want your money after 10pm. They will lock up the fridge and switch of the TV from the head office, then sleep off.

Our journey commenced by 10am on Sunday after we had slept off our fatigue and broken our fast.

We visited University of Ibadan Zoological Garden, then went to Agodi park to paddle away.

Was the trip worth it? TOTALLY.
We thank the brave Champions from the city of Lagos who came, saw and conquered different levels of the great mountain of Ado Awaye in Oyo State, South West of Nigeria.

Thanks,

We will yet do this and much more

Follow Me on twitter - @MrChiaka

And get live picture updates on Instagram - cloudsurferstours

The Fixer PT2

The first call came by 8pm on Wednesday 2nd December. I had spent the entire day battling the infamous Lagos gridlock in search of 10 Limousines for a client. Ajah is not my favorite of places.

My caller needed a fare from Bangkok to Abuja. I was just too tired as I entered my apartment by 11 midnight.

Then the rain of calls came in from 12:25 midnight. A client from Total Nigeria had been told of "The Fixer". His brother was about to be whisked away into the gallows of a Bangkok cell for reasons unknown. He was not ready to have his little brothers head cut off over a bogus drug charge so all he wanted was to get him out of Bangkok to Lagos as fast as possible.

With one hand searching through my reservation portal and another hand holding my phone to my ear and calming my albeit agitated client, we did it.

Itinerary was sent to the distressed traveler in Bangkok to reassure the immigration that help was here. He had just been dispossessed of all his FX (remind me to be extra careful with Thai Authorities).

In 5mins, funds were transferred, tickets were issued and I had to check the stranded traveler in (after sales service + insurance that all was well at my end).

The Bangkok authorities did not know what hit them. Bragging rights had been earned by my once distressed traveler because some " fixer guy" had made his quick exit pretty easy.

By 1:20am my "Total client" called to ask me what my name was?

I smiled, and in my James Bond voice, I said "CHIAKA... David Chiaka" but you can call me "The Fixer".

True event... Have a pleasant day people and s
tay relevant.

Till we meet again, keep winning.

Twitter: @MrChiaka

Entrepreneurship Basic Class 101: Part 2 - INNOVATE

"Innovate: Whatever it is you are doing, someone else is doing it. So find ways of doing it better." -David Chiaka, culled from the interview on Pinpointmag.net

I spend a lot of my time studying great people. I do not believe I have to make mistakes on the job. I should be able to learn from others who have gone ahead of me so I can avoid similar mistakes they made.

The likes of Steve Jobs (late founder of Apple), Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, Donald Trump, Tayo Aderinokun (late MD of GTBank Plc) et al, have intrigued me as great and successful business men, leaders and innovators.

There is a common phrase that has driven me in this direction, and its from the Bible - "follow them who through FAITH & PATIENCE have inherited the promise". That's vision and persistence,

I study the bible. I love to learn from successful people in the bible and also from real life. Why should I go around making mistakes when I can learn from those ahead of me?
Why should I make mistakes that I may not recover from?

There is a common trait among "The Great" and that trait is innovation.
There once was a time when we had to travel hundreds of miles for meetings now you can Skype straight from your office Pc, Laptop or even your mobile phone. Why would you spend 5 hours of your day stuck in traffic when a video chat can solve this?

There once was a time when marketing was done in the market place, on buses, in crowded places etc. Yes, organizations still adopt this marketing model but guess what, I would rather identify my target market and market online.

Facebook offers adverts that push your product into the faces of a specified target market and guess what, Nigerians love Facebook. Same as twitter and other social media channels. Identify what mediums your market use to communicate and express themselves, then interrupt them with your products. Get them to look at it and you will be shocked at how effective this is.

Listen, marketing your products is not a one size fits all.
If I have a N250k travel product, I wont waste my time marketing in a public bus!

No! that's not my market. My market are graduate trainees in Banks, Blue chip companies, Energy firms etc. The fast rising middle class and they drive fairly used cars.

They are the ones that want to take selfies and post on Facebook.
They want opinions from Twitter.
They want to show their friends what they have been doing on Instagram and so on.

If you do not sit down to identify your target market, then find ways of reaching them, trust me; YOU WILL NOT GROW B-I-G!
These thoughts will keep you up late at night. It will keep you very busy at your office and it will help you position a great team that is critical in thinking and strategic in marketing.

Ask yourself, what more can I do? What more products can you perfect?
How can you make it better in my product and make it more attractive?

If you continuously do things the old way, you will wake up one day with a negative balance sheet.
You must know when an email will suffice and when an actual physical visit is required.

You must know when its okay to receive cash and when a simple bank transfer is perfect.
These decisions matter.
These innovative ideas must translate to decisions that will alter the face of your business.

Hope this piece has been helpful?
Please share your thoughts and innovative experiences.

Till we meet again, keep winning.

David Chiaka
Follow me on twitter - @MrChiaka