I woke up this morning to a call from a client (thinking about it, its a potential client that keeps asking me for fares to the whole world, but never buying).
So, my client comes to me with how responsible I sound (this gets my spider senses tingling). This sensation signifies an anomaly or an indication of a danger of some sort.
So "Client X" proceeds to ask me what church I attend, and I respond.
He yells "I said it."
I smile, its the typical fraud line.
So he asks me which satellite church I attend and I give him a vague answer - Surulere.
He goes "WOW! You are my brother."
He now tells of a Pastor Blah Blah who is his "Father in The Lord" (we don't use such phrases- nothing wrong, but its not our phrase).
So, Client X asks me if I know his Pastor? And I smile and say "Uhuh"!
The delicious onion in my bread plus egg combo just struck a note with palate and I had to wash it down with some tea.
So I ask him "whats up" and he tells me of how he needs to transfer N600,000 to Bayo (a car dealer in Seme boarder). Very typical of a fraudster to talk to you as though you have been in on the transaction from inception.
Client X then tells me he wants to really help me and for some unknown reason the tea goes the wrong way. I choke on my cocoa (is there a song along those lines?).
At this point, I ask him what he actually needs and he says he wants me to go check Bayo guy at the boarder cos its a lot of money involved, then I say "okay, lets do it like this" (giving him the benefit of doubt). "I have someone who deals in boarder cars sales and I will gladly connect him with my contact."
Client X says "no! no! no!" It has to be you, cos I trust your voice".
Just then, Bayo's picture flashes in my head with him holding a cutlass and with me all tied up and ready for sacrifice... T.I.A. - This Is Africa!
The phone went dead.
Looking at my device, I saw my hand on the kill button.
I stared at my empty plate of bread and fried eggs.
I take up my cup of warm cocoa and mutter "THUNDER FIRE ..."
I don't conclude as I see my Pastor stare at me from my subconscious (sorry sir).
I wash down my very dry throat with the rest of my tea, then take up my pen and notepad to put down my 'to do's' for the day.
LESSON FOR THE DAY:
Stick to what you know. That's how to avoid Bayo's cutlass.
Enjoy your day.
Till we meet again, keep winning.
Mr David Chiaka
Twitter: @MrChiaka
